1. I have an extensively detailed fantasy-fiction world existing in my head. I’ve been developing it since the 5th grade, ever since I fell in love with “The Neverending Story” [book & movie]. I have all the characters and the mythology worked out. It would probably take hours to explain it to anybody. One day, it will be written out on novel form. . .I hope anyway.

2. I always cry when I watch the movie “Farewell My Concubine,” sometimes two or three times, especially during the Cultural Revolution scenes.

3. I wear heels exclusively because 5′2 is a sad state of existence. Even my so called “flats” have at least 2 inches.

4. Even with my hair tied up, I always make sure to leave a few strands around my face to mask its roundness. I call my face a pancake face, it’s round, flat and retarded-looking.

5. My family operated a Chinese restaurant 7 days a week for 17 years. My dad cooked, my mom waited the tables. I was washing dishes and running the cash registers at 10 years old while my grandmother worked as the fry cook. When I was three, the four of us were living in one cramped bedroom in an 2-room apartment shared with 3 other immigrants. We basically scrimped and saved our way to a middle class status.

6. I could not read or write until the late into the first grade because I spoke Cantonese at home. I was actually held back for awhile in kindergarten because I couldn’t talk to my teachers.

7. Being an only child stuck in a restaurant most of my afternoons, I turned to books to occupy my time and help me escape the incredibly mundane surroundings. Out of that grew my love for writing. Something about the ability to create new worlds intrigued me.

8. I was voted “most intelligent” in senior superlatives and graduated valedictorian. Doesn’t mean much coming from my ghetto-ass public high school, though. I think about a third of my class didn’t even graduate.

9. My fragile self-esteem rests solely on how well I’m doing academically. It’s something my parents ingrained in me. My dad always reminded me that I had every opportunity to succeed as long as I studied hard — that all the sacrifices he made were in order to provide me with a better life. I remember those nights his right arm would twitch and spasm involuntarily because he overworked it, and I knew I couldn’t settle for anything less than an A.

10. I’m easily embarrassed and will often replay the moments in my head years after the incident occurs. I used to have terrible anxiety about speaking in class for fear of saying something stupid. Even today, I can’t speak in a lecture-size class without breaking into a nervous sweat.

11. The best college memories I have involve my two great friends, Brian Leary and Sean Conway. All those times we studied for ENGL 3000 and Rapp’s class at Hot Corner — 4+ hours on that couch; Jolt Cola; threatening to rip Ezra Pound’s book in half; listening to iTunes mp3s of some chick’s preacher, making fun of it, and then realizing she was sitting next to us. It never felt like studying with you guys.

12. I take pride in my nationality. I love using it for self-promotional purposes, but also blame it for all my faulty driving and lateness.

13. I’ve only dated three people in my life, two of them were incidentally Mormons. Due to my naivete at the time, I ended both relationships quite awkwardly.

14. I never make the first move. Doesn’t make sense to needlessly put yourself on the line. For that, I think I missed out on some opportunities in my life.

15. Most vivid memory: Summer of 2003, Europe Trip, 6 countries in 21 days, standing at the edge of a pier in Venice, Italy. Nothing but the ocean surrounding me on all sides. I felt like I was flying.

16. I attended a Christian elementary school and was once wholly devout. I was told by a teacher that if everyone in the world was “saved,” Jesus would return. Since I was surrounded by Christians most of the time, I thought everyone but my family was “saved” and they were the ones keeping Jesus from coming back. I don’t remember how I ever got over it, because my parents are still delightfully agnostic.

17. I’m agnostic, borderline atheist. I’m not exactly sure when I lost my faith, but somewhere along the way (early high school?), the logic didn’t make sense anymore. The people who called themselves Christians sometimes were the most condescending, hypocritical people, whereas most of my close friends were non-religious. The more I read about it, the more I’m convinced that religion as a whole has caused just as much evil as it has good.

18. I adore musicals. My favorites are Les Miserables, Wicked and Reefer Madness. There’s something exhilarating about a well-harmonized, resounding chorus. I also did drama and musical theatre in high school. It’s funny, as long as I am somebody else on stage, I don’t get nervous.

19. I have a soft spot for pop culture, Internet memes, the arts and entertainment. Ideally, I would like to land a job writing features and reviews on all of the above.

20. I love playing World of Warcraft even though I suck at it and haven’t played in six months. It caters to my geek fantasy-fiction sensibilities. Unfortunately, I keep getting ganked by rogues. My main is a night-elf priest, but I would love to work on my dranei mage and blood elf hunter some.

21. The summer I spent studying at Oxford was probably the most rewarding experience I’ve had. I’ve never been so challenged academically, but I walked away with some of the best essays I’ve written and a set of friends that hold a very special place in my heart.

22. I have an unusual affinity for the color green. It’s probably because the emerald is my birthstone, my favorite sailor scout was Sailor Jupiter who wore green, and I also loved the Wizard of Oz series which had the Emerald City. Sometimes, I wished I lived there so all things could look green. Green eyes are also incredibly sexy.

23. When I say I love a TV show, book or movie, I mean I obsess unhealthily over it. Prime example: When The Lord of the Rings first came out, my best friend Emily and I would skip our lunches so we could make Powerpoint slideshows about each of the characters in the movie.

24. I saw the Fellowship of the Ring at least 10 times at the movie theater. I only paid half of the time and movie hopped the rest.

25. I try pretty hard to be well-liked by others, since I’m pretty unsatisfied with myself on a normal basis. I fear I’ll never outgrow my meek, awkward middle school self.

“I was actually in hair and makeup. I was listening over the blow dryer,” replies the unnaturally tan, orange sundress donning Rancic.

Missing no step, the American Idol host pulls the patronizing-hand-on-shoulder trick, “I was on the radio…”

Leave it to Seacrest to find some way to plug his radio show on KIIS-FM during E! News’ inauguration coverage.

But so it goes in this hub of Hollywood entertainment news, where self-centeredness is a flattery not a flaw and viewers can see what everyone besides President Obama was doing at the inauguration.

Imagine if CNN Live were a 13-year-old teenybopper with ADHD and you’d be somewhere in the vicinity of the E! News’ roundup of this red-letter day.

While they had their man on the street amongst the lively masses and played a cursory montage of clips from the ceremony, both E! and its audience know that’s not what they’re on this channel for.
Cue the Beyonce and Jay-Z, Dustin and Lisa Hoffman and Oprah Winfrey slide show. “The stars were just like everybody else!” exclaims Rancic in a voice over, attempting to reaffirm a most implausible statement.

And judging by the amount of time devoted to each segment, it seemed as though Ms. Winfrey’s pre-inauguration bash may have eclipsed the event itself. After all, it received a full account and summary thanks to Ken Baker, E! executive news editor. In his ‘exclusive’ behind the scenes interview, the man dropped names like hot cakes, each name accompanied by a two second clip of the star. Blink and you lost the better half of the list: Gayle King, Maria Shriver, Demi and Ashton and Angela Bassett included.

Ne’er you mind though, because the only worthwhile portion of this segment was the close up of Ms. O rapturously singing along to a joint performance by Will.I.Am [Does he ever miss a political publicity stunt, ever?], Seal, Mary J. Blige and Faith Hill.

“There wasn’t a dry eye in the house,” attests the nasal-pitched editor.

Loosely leaping from the Oprah party to the Huffington Post one, E! launches into another spiraling tirade of names and faces [Val Kilmer, Jessica Alba, Gerard Butler, Shakira and Fall Out Boy], followed by a medley of the stars commenting on what the day means to them.

The most astonishing thing about E!’s coverage is its ability to marry frivolous gossip to something as significant as the inauguration. Case A for inspection: Oh no, a Jonas Brother and Miley Cyrus awkwardly hugged at Disney Channel’s “Kids Inaugural” concert, if only I possessed less brain cells so that I could be remotely interested in the back story behind it!

Or for the zinger, courtesy Ryan Seacrest: “The question that President Obama is dying to know the answer to, ‘who is this sexy mother in this little bikini?’” he says, unevenly transitioning back into E!’s typical fare — a “how does she get so skinny after just having a baby?” super model.

Perhaps our bright-toothed, modern-day fop of a host says it best when he concludes the show on, “your source for M.I.L.F.’s and the Inauguration.”

Can’t type long, standing at a computer kiosk at airport. Flight long, fun,

In about 9 hours, I will be on my way to Hartsfield-Jackson, overstuffed suitcase, laptop and purse in tow. After a frantic search for my DVD set of It’s Always Sunny, I’ve finally finished packing. [Turns out, it somehow got shoved under a rug and regrettably stepped on. Luckily, only the box suffered topical-squashedness.]

Odd to think that by the time I get back, classes will be back in session. It seems that my Christmas vacation has barely begun and we’re already at the climax. Kind of premature, it feels like. Regardless, it’s always nice to return to the motherland. Gives me waves of Amy Tan-like inspiration. Perhaps I’ll be inspired to begin my book. Not my epic fantasy tale of derring-do and adventure, but my other one: a sentimental, culturally-significant collection of semi-fictional immigrant stories swirled in with East Asian mythology, written with a magical realism touch. Yeah, that one. So far, all I have is that one of my characters writes fortune cookie fortunes for a living.

My major objective this trip around is to take a lot of cool pictures, show off my white boyfriend to my extended family and document the trip in as many online mediums as possible. I’ve got a Twitter, Tumblr, blog, Facebook and print journal to keep up with. I am not to be trifled with, people. This Julie Abroad 2.0-style. I’ll probably spend more time documenting events than actually experiencing them.

When I say “show off my white boyfriend,” I mean, show him off like an alien specimen at a 5-cent freak show. I expect lots of hair-touching, oggling and overall awkwardness and uncomfortableness. It’s going to be awesome.

On that note, I wonder what ridiculous, but fatally cute situations I can put my hamster, Lenny, in.

From when we first purchased them at Petsmart

This was his life partner, Dumbledore.

Back in the younger days

Sadly, Dumbledore died this past fall at the ripe age of three. Given that Chinese dwarf hamsters only have a life expectancy of one year, three-years-old is practically Biblical in hamster terms. So it leads me to wonder, how is it that Lenny is still alive? My only conclusion is that he is some carnation of a Highlander hamster. That would explain how he and Dumbledore suddenly began attack each other after two years. We eventually had to separate them into different cages. Even now, months after we discovered Dumbledore’s prostrate little body, Lenny is better than ever. Could it be that I have an immortal hamster?

Either way, If you’re interested in seeing what has consumed my life over the past week or so, check this baby out!

I designed this bad boy over 2 sleepless nights for my new media capstone class. We held our presentation last Thursday afternoon to an audience of mobile media professionals [and potential employers?]. I consider the entire affair missiona accomplished, since I got a handful of business cards in the process and encouraging feedback on “Dissed in 90 Seconds” 

Speaking of my baby, check out Episode 4. This time, written by my co-host. 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crURFGBsR64]

The worst thing? The complete lack of motivation to do it. 

I say that, but I did get at least two things done thus far. Two projects for my Writing for the World Wide Web are done. Check out my new online portfolio, www.madaznmedia.com! That’s right, I’ve purchased my first domain from GoDaddy.com AND managed to make it work! 

My next domain purchase will probably be for “Dissed in 90 Seconds.” That is, if we can continue to work in the NMI soundbooth weekly, next semester. I’ve got the rough draft of another episode up on YouTube, check it out. All it’s actually missing is the intro, which Ross, my co-host, has:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWxfDd8CsRo]

Anyhow, about to head off to the High Museum of Art to check out some clay soldiers. Don’t let me forget to gab about these things later: Rock Band, Lives of Others, and MGMT.

What I wouldn’t give for some word-smithing ability a la Spektor and MIA

“Consequence Of Sounds”

My rhyme ain’t good just yet,
My brain and tongue just met,
And they ain’t friends, so far,
My words don’t travel far,
They tangle in my hair,
And tend to go nowhere,
They grow right back inside,
Right past my brain and eyes
Into my stomach juice
Where they don’t serve much use,
No healthy calories,
Nutrition values.
And I absorb back in
The words right through my skin

failblog.org

Also, the rough draft for Dissed in 90 Seconds is up for your perusal! Feedback always appreciated. 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ED4q1cj_xkg]

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Sunday night = 5 hours

Monday night = 2 hours

Tuesday night = 9 hours 

That, my good people, is my sleep schedule to date this week. No wonder I’m oversleeping 98% of mornings. You know how Veronica Guerin had her speeding problem? My schtick is my chronic bum-rush to get to class on time. I make it, but not before panicked tooth-brushing; Special K bar consumption while driving; speeding and sudden braking; and running down the hill. 

True story, happened twice this week. 

****

Dissed in 90 seconds coming to you soon with 3 more episodes! Get excited for the pending verbal assault on cinematic gems such as, Forbidden Kingdom, In the Name of the King, Never Back Down, 10,000 BC, and Beowulf.